I think I’m starting to accept it. She’s gone. She’s gone and she’s not coming back. She just sits there now, staring off into space, looking for something. And I know what it is. It’s Prim. You know how much she loved her sister. And when Prim left, I think Katniss left, too. She’s completely checked out, now. No one’s been able to rouse her. I go over every day, and I feed her, and I help her, and I don’t even think she realizes what’s going on.
I miss her. It sounds completely insane, I barely know her. Barely knew her. She’s different now, not herself anymore. Or, at least, what I thought was her. I talk to her doctor every day on the phone. Each day he becomes more and more sure this is going to be permanent. And each day I become more and more determined to make sure it isn’t. I think it’s part of my therapy from the hijacking. I have all the memories back now, I think. It’s getting them to click into place that’s the hard part. And Katniss is starting to come together for me, just as the real her falls apart.
I just want her back, but she’s not here. She’s a million miles away, lost among her thoughts. Maybe I am too. Maybe we all are.
Please, come out for a visit when you can.